It's over...me and Philander are through. i never thought this day would come. i always dreamed we'd get married and die in each others arms. but fate did not agree with my idea.
After a rough night of tossing and turning i woke up looking at the ceiling again. slowly i got up and began making a light egg/tomato/spinach/shrimp/milk shake (with my secret ingredient:dirt) it brought me a bit more to life. then i went out to my grandma's track and (as Bam [my new friend{on the blog}] suggested) began doing 200's (without the wheelbarrow) i got to 16 before i fell on my face, and i started to cry again. then i got up and decided to find out the truth! i ran to his house and (without going to the back and checking in first) i broke down his door and walked right in. There he was playin' croquet! like everything was fine! i walked right up to him, and he asked if i was feeling ok, and that i looked sick. i stared back at him. then after a bit i asked him what he did after he dropped me off from our date.
His knees began to buckle and i could tell it wasn't his stuffed animal. After a while of him not saying anything, i knew it was true. so i walked right up to him, pinched his nose hard and ran out the door!
Now as i was running home i couldn't hold back the tears. I could hear Philander calling out for me from his house but of course i wasn't going to turn around after what he had done to me. But now i'm done. we're over. Philander made his choice and even if he still loves me and only did that because he was starving for affection, it doesn't matter. I will not stand for it.
All that matters to me now is getting my weight to where i want it and i'm sure i'll find another man to obsess over. I set up an appointment with Dr.Looper as Bam suggested and i'll have a chat with him about my problems this Monday. Maybe something will start up with him :-) | 